At Oasis Colonics, we acknowledge a fundamental commonality of our shared humanity: male or female, adult or child, black or white, liberal or conservative, Priest or nun, Christian, Muslim or Jew, we are all united in the experiences related to our shared poop function.

As you grunt out your morning constitutional, think of the billions of people all across the world who are undergoing the exact same struggle, or pleasure, whatever the case may be.

Think of the children of Iraq and the children of America. Think of Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, and the late Kim Jong Il and Osama bin Laden. Think about the fact that twelve hours following Taco Bell the scenario is going to unfold for each of them in the exact same way. Think about how, in this light, our differences are irrelevant.

Once I was privileged to administer a colonic to a client whose therapist in Los Angeles used to give colonics to Michael Jackson. Oh my, I was thrilled to have felt such an intimate and vicarious closeness to this super star. The thought of Michael Jackson pooping is probably a thought not shared by many, and even fewer have fantasies of the celebrated moon walker mooning them before getting a colonic!

I’ve had my share of clients who bravely dropped their drawers, while simultaneously keeping their celebrated names modestly protected. We are all the same in this regard. We might eat foods that are as varied as the day is long, but when it comes time to evacuate, we’s all da same, bro…